"Life is full of simple pleasures." @Boulevard_Beer tells its story for our client @UMBBank: http://t.co/CeHok4kg #UMBstories

Marilyn Manson is in town today. Where do you think a guy like that eats dinner in KC?

LOL crushing depression.

Listen to that still inner voice to guide you through life. Unless it's chanting "KILL KILL KILL KILL." Then, you know, think about it.

It's our 12th year anniversary. http://t.co/stHXpL0g

I trust people who know the difference between will and time.

We're all just leather sacks filled with blood and bones. Remember that the next time you decide to be ridiculous and care about something.

Paula Cole ever find them cowboys?

If Flo Rida were a woman:

Carol Ina
Cali Fornia
Nan Tucket
Virginia

Do you build websites? Do you plan on building websites a year from now? You owe @wilto a drink for this: http://t.co/QlTGb41S

⌘\ is the new ↑↑↓↓←→←→BA

Daniel Clowes portrait of Patton Oswalt. @pattonoswalt #pattonoswalt http://t.co/fRvdDeZH

Content - Undifferentiated sludge created to spackle over business problems. Often comes in buckets.
http://t.co/ERFuOEAP

@3rdmartini Only you can prevent toilet explosions.

If you want to follow more live tweeting from Chesapeake call, you're gonna have to follow @NewsOKEnergy

En route to the land of the breakfast taco. http://t.co/Pu6tnMQM

Bring back VVFS! 2 straight hours airing right now on Current!!!

In line for "The Avengers". Beside us is a line for "Dark Shadows". I see men look at me over their dates' shoulders. Their eyes haunt me.

did something today i haven't done in a long time. peed into a cup in my car.

Well this is just plain genius. /via @alistaircalder http://t.co/7tfusY5j