Lana Del Ray looks exactly like the older sister in Sixteen Candles who was on muscle relaxants at her wedding.

This interview with @luckyshirt resonates as #thecocktailnapkin nears the end.

Best show of the series. Seriously. http://t.co/USa9Pjpv

.@timmyfisher and I discuss the beginnings of @wearemk12 and how their work has influenced the mograph industry

http://t.co/PWR8LXCK

Hey, #smckc, there's a fundraiser for a cause dear to a friend's heart that I'd appreciate help in spreading the word: http://t.co/Ouf8piiQ

There's still time. @ Train Wreck Winery http://t.co/43qF9Ubw

My 3 yr-old nephew did a great job birthday shopping for his mom: ant killer and hemorrhoid cream. Kid's got a future in pleasing ladies.

I learned a lot about the fundamentals of improv over coffee with @scottconnerly. You'll learn a lot too.

http://t.co/a4bqxadp

Also, if you don't watch the @mulegirl episode, @mike_ftw will draw dicks on you.

7 ways to save time on Twitter:
1. Jazz hands.
2. Macrame elves.
3. Call mom.
4. Finish that book.
5. Poop.
6. Take a walk.
7. Don't log in.

I had a girlfriend who let me cram it in the boot once. Her trunk never shut right after that. #acbowl

Random dad advice of the evening: Monkey hat is not used for violence. Monkey hat is only used for love.

http://t.co/f5T07X5E « Stop multitasking, especially in meetings. Otherwise you're just sucking at EVERYTHING.

.@frageelay wants to be the camp director for your creative ambitions.

http://t.co/ReKClE4o

.@adcontrarian and I discuss keeping ideas ahead of technological executions in this week's episode.

http://t.co/LA1leYyw

Equally educated ppl with ADHD make an avg. of $40k less than non-ADHD colleagues? I'd have a joke if I weren't so depressed by the news.

Did you know truly creative ideas make you feel sick? @jacobedenfield and I discuss this phenomenon.

http://t.co/jpUtwPJ0

NATHAN: I'm Batman and you can be Flash.
ME: Hm. Can I be HTML 5 instead?
N: …

Kid just can't understand nerd humor.

Designing a website while listening to Radiohead's "The Bends" and drinking vodka.

Feels like post-divorce 1998 all over again.

You think people on bathroom renovation shows get excited thinking about the first raunchy dump they'll take in their $30k bath?

I would.

Today, there is ice in my veins and creamed corn in my boxers. I am unflappable.

And preferred by old people.