@Alias1on1

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Favs Rec'd	40,294
Awards Rec'd	34
Favstar Lists In	250
Following	830
Followers	1,563
it's alright, baby's coming back

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@Alias1on1 best tweets
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Things you should avoid saying to people who talk way too much!

3) Tell me more!

2) Oh, really?

1) Hello.

@Alias1on1

Cows would have longer life expectancy if they weren't made of steak and leather.

@Alias1on1

The first rule of Fight Club: You do not talk about Fight Club... Some of us haven't seen it yet! Thanks a lot!

@Alias1on1

330 Favs

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4 RTs

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When it comes to tantrums, I throw like a girl.

@Alias1on1

It's kinda hard to trust someone whose expression doesn't change a little when they see bubble wrap.

@Alias1on1

Some people have great relationships. Some people have job satisfaction. I have something in my teeth.

@Alias1on1

If you have eyebrows drawn with pencil, I WILL stare.

@Alias1on1

For all those who always have their shit together, what's that like?

@Alias1on1

The internet has taught me how to laugh without changing my facial expression.

@Alias1on1

why is it almost impossible putting on mascara with your mouth closed??

@Alias1on1

With twitter comes great irresponsibility.

@Alias1on1

I finally finished the Internet!

There's a twist at the end.

@Alias1on1

I'd star your tweet but you spelled that word all wrong.

@Alias1on1

175 Favs

166Others

3 RTs

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People who laugh like this: "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" should maybe just stick to LOL.

@Alias1on1

So what exactly does productivity feel like?
Is it squishy?

@Alias1on1

I like my things mixed. Like my drinks, martial arts, emotions and signals. Yes, please.

@Alias1on1

163 Favs

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6 RTs

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When you get to a fork in the road, order a large plate of spaghetti.

@Alias1on1

Nothing says "I love youuu!" quite like that one girl who's had way too many cocktails.

@Alias1on1

Without fail, I think I am bipolar at least once every month.

@Alias1on1

Hey people who call me from private numbers, how's that working out for you?

@Alias1on1

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