I hate the dog. Unrelated, I need NOMS.

There's a new kitty in the house. I was cool with it until she tried to suckle me. Now plotting my revenge.

@KillbillyDeluxe Lies! All lies!

It was so nice outside I thought about rolling around in the garden. Then I remembered that requires moving.

@bloons Pooping is serious business.

@KillbillyDeluxe I can relate except I keep my poop in a box.

@chemo_sabe That makes me a happy pussy. :D

Want to hear a good racist joke? Trust me it's cool, I'm black and white.

I'm awesome........ you on the other hand.

what? sorry I couldn't hear you over the sound of me licking my ass.

@sockington suck it

sorry for not being around much, I've been very busy since my ass developed this new delicious flavour, i should patent it.

So I pooped on the floor once downstairs, so now i'm never allowed down there ever? I live with unreasonable bastards.