I cant believe the Police laughed at me when I went to report a stolen Tweet....

This country's Law Enforcement System really Sucks

Real Forest Whitakers don't sleep, they just rest one eye.

Am I being an asshole for refusin to kneel down when givin migdets hugs? Am I?

Police report a series of Hijacks around all Pick-n-Pay stores. These Hobos are takin trolleys & throwin the food out as they escape.

I think sometimes I give people way too much credit than they deserve. Especially on Twitter.

dear Vegetarians MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT

Apart from tryin to look cool, why do we smoke cigarettes?

People that choose to be cremated are gonna give God a problem when he tries to Reincarnate them... who's gonna glue em together?

Every time I trip & fall in public I just break-dance & wait for people to applaud & throw money at me....

Real love is kissing her on the lips after she swallows.

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! My girl just started her monthly 3day thing Yesterday. This means no Pussy before the Rapture?

I'm Screwed. or not.

my Favstar statistics prove, 4 out of 5 people love my tweets. The other 1 out of 5 is a Moron that isnt on Favstar.

So WTF am I gonna do with all these Favorite Tweets I've Collected?

( •_•) Bitch don't piss me off! *(•_• )* what are gonna do to me Chris? huh? AMA! ( •_•)---D *(•_• )* joh! Chis Brown hit me! (*_• )

I can't believe I'm sitting here watching the Titanic, crying my eyeballs out & going, "all that pussy, all that pussy lost at sea".

You know what Grinds My Gears? When you go to the Toilet, pull your pants down, sit on the Toilet & Forget what it is you wanted to Tweet.

Congratulations to you if you have a Twifey or a Twoyfriend. You are also Twirrtarded.

When you pick your nose, why do you always look at what you dig out? What were you execting apart from boogers? Diamonds?

People that end statements with "You know what I mean" should learn to read faces,coz half the time WE DONT FUQEN KNOW WHAT THEY MEAN!.

My boss sends the most boring emails. They are all work related.

And now she wants to come & ask me why I reported her as Spam.