@bessyvegas There is an owl outside my window licking a tootsie pop…hold on he's gone and bit into it. The world may never know.

Godda go there is a beer with my nickname on it

. I have a feeling @BitchyMcTits & @Eric_Bader will be receiving allot of dicpics today please follow so you may send sympathy notes #FF

The Air Show is in town. But once I get a good view of the air these planes and parachutists keep blocking my view

@biz I would like to verify that @MFBrooklyn would like to be verified.

I follow some of the funniest clever people & never see y'all on @TweetTheJoke give it a follow http://t.co/uSi7Fh2 #FF try it

Buried my Uncle Rip this weekend. His tombstone said "RIP Rip", which is ironic because he only had one butt cheek.

. it's true @TattooedMisery has more than 821 stars. This will be much higher next week after you follow & enjoy Miss Misery with us #FF

Scent of a Butt Hole #dogmovies

Avoiding Suicide (Cliff notes) #rejectedselfhelpbooks

I get the impression that @OhNoSheTwitnt @CM2BTTHD @mireyamayor @Ruth_A_Buzzi would get along brilliantly. So #FF and mix it up.

I will integrate new information into my objectives and modify plans 2 allow for the change of direction. But that will make me late 4 work

King Of Queens #mormonsitcoms

Anonymous wrote "50% of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class" Clearly this person is a "glass half empty" kinda person

@wrobertswriter I could of been an understandable "booing" …Maybe she wouldn't flash her boobs.

I just nominated Ruth Buzzi for "Best New Gadget" #MashableAwards http://t.co/q7qsxweH

@BitchyMcTits Good thing that egg wasn't fertilized, he/she would have been a shithead.

@iHeartPortnoy #myfavoriterapper a cute girl at the mall Hope she is back this yr I buy stuff just so she can wrap. U guys spelled wrap rong

@BitchyMcTits The Rolling Wheels #lessexcitingbandnames

I have lol with @TattooedMisery , learned the diff twix good &bad screw from @ShoutingGoddess, sent the beautiful @Kayleetanner 2 skool #FF