DanKCharnley

@DanKCharnley

DanKCharnley

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Favs Rec'd 30,611
Awards Rec'd 46
Favstar Lists In 204
Following 31,843
Followers 45,853
Life Coach Coach/Cyber Bully/Xenophobic/Magician/Chubby Chaser/Avid Reader of Smut/Squirter/Damaged Goods/Dungeon Master/Stuntcock/Rib Sauce Judge/Heckler/Püper
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@DanKCharnley best tweets
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Neat, your girlfriend is made out of the same stuff as your air guitar!
Whoever coined the word "lisp" is a real dick for putting an "S" in there...
Magnum condoms are not just a sign of a large penis. They are also a sign of a large vagina.
Every time you masturbate, remember: YOUR DEAD RELATIVES ARE WATCHING YOU!
Before I die, I hope I have legitimately uttered the phrase, ”Please, sir, you are standing on my cape” atleast once.
That chick's hair has low self-esteem. It must have been teased a lot in the 80's.
I jacked off my clock and now I have a bunch of time on my hands...
The contestants on "The Biggest Loser" lose most of their weight in tears.
Trust is like virginity. Once you've lost it, it's very difficult to get it back.
”So who's ready to fuck!!?!”

-Me, at the petting zoo, then later that same day in jail.
I can't wait until I'm famous enough to not follow you assholes back.
The man upstairs knows what is truly in my heart. I don't mean that spiritually, my cardiologist lives above me.