Sipping straight Grey Goose at this wedding reception. And it's only 4:00. I think an eventful night might be in store tonight!

You silly people who don't live in Arizona and who change the time on your clocks twice a year because the government told you to...

I am stoned, drunk, and now looking for some more firewood. Life up here is simple and good...

RT @kolchak: Osama Bin Laden: not caught. Willie Nelson: caught. Priorities.

The BP oil spill is something we've never encountered before? Wrong! Can anyone say déjà vu? - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9A36A3GTcY

"TV-MA:LSV" The best rating for a TV show. #SAMCRO #SonsOfAnarchy @sutterink

@digiRT Every time he tells a lie, you drink a shot. Everyone playing will be drunk within the first 5 minutes of any of his speeches.

Staycation starts .... NOW!

Oh look, is that a Guinness in my hand? Why yes, it is!

Today is the epitome of why Monday's suck ass.

When FDR said, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself," clearly he had never heard of a zombie apocalypse. (via @jayblom, corrected)

RT @gt733: The cops found pot on Willie Nelson's tour bus. In other news, water is wet.

OMG, we slipped a $20 spot to the desk clerk at The Venetian and got upgraded to a kickass suite on the 30th floor with a hell of a view!

Some friends brought a visitor out to the ranch -- a baby kangaroo. Awww, how cute! http://twitpic.com/22tyr5

Wonder if the neighbors will care if I go naked?

Tonight will consist of alergy medication with a Ketel One chaser... Let the fun begin!

Wait... what country do we live in? http://bit.ly/OMTsg

I have an extra ticket for #IgnitePhx tonight. If you are interested or know anyone who is, let me know & we can make arrangements.

DEBT LIMIT: A Guide to American Federal Debt Made Easy -- http://t.co/zNZ3fhy3

@ClassikalViv Naa, no duking here. @EvilBobby was the one who introduced Cappriottis to me. Just letting him know about a new location. ;-)

The Rules of Bacon -- http://t.co/D44SC42s