The first person who discovered fossils must've cried so much

Divastated - when you're a diva and you're devastated. Word of the year!!! Use it as much as u can b4 basic bitches get 2 it. Ur Welcome.

I hope to God the key 2 getting the boy u like 2 like you back is looking pissed off 24/7 and dressing like ur 12!!!!

Must suq to be basic as fuq! HUH, UNFOLLOWERS?

Do u guys ever try 2 convince ppl that some1 u hate is a pinata???

I'm a lil bit crazy.. a LOTTA bit sexy... and 100% cool ;-)

Hipsters hijacked gay style then bros hijacked hipster style and now bros dress like gay guys from 2007 CIRCLE OF LIFE YALL

You know how some people just look like comic sans? Ugh

Life must be so hard when u suck at being beautiful. Wouldn't rly know.

"I'm such a lady but I'm dancing like a ho" = #1 lyric of all time

I loathe everything except being young and attractive

AT LEAST ONCE A MONTH I REMEMBER BRANDY KILLED SOMEONE

I think the funniest thing about me would have to be my life.

Craigslust: a rly good title for a Craigslist affair-themed Lifetime movie

If you take a shower and when you come out it smells like potatoes ya might as well kill urself

I selected my senior pic based on what message it will send when I'm famous.

When I think of people who like Lady Gaga, I think of girls who wish they had style & get drunk and fuck strangers saying it empowers them.

i just need everyone to know "its wetter out than my panties after Drive" is an actual honest to god text ive sent out

I saw Kyle Maclachlans erect penis today. This is what the internet was invented for.

Hell yes i'd marry someone for citizenship take a gd seat yall jealous cus i fly first class international okrrr