JenZeb

@JenZeb

JZ

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@JenZeb best tweets
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JenZeb
My pet pony came to me with a present between his teeth. I couldn't look at it, for obvious reasons.
@JenZeb
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JenZeb
Fuck punctuation. Fuck it right in it's colon.
@JenZeb
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JenZeb
The snow is so bad here that a woman went past my house today ON SKIS. I am not even kidding, she had ski-poles and everything.
@JenZeb
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JenZeb
If you're happy and you know it clap your hams. #Clapham
@JenZeb
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JenZeb
OCH AWA' AN DINNAE TALK PISH.
@JenZeb
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JenZeb
Does anyone want to chip in to build a self sufficient house with me? We'll grow our own food, generate our own power, it'll be amazing.
@JenZeb
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JenZeb
If you watch Come Dine With Me in reverse it's a show about four friends vomiting until they don't know each other any more.
@JenZeb
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JenZeb
I always remove headphones before pausing or stopping whatever I'm listening to just in case the vacuum created sucks my brain out my ears.
@JenZeb
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JenZeb
Only in Scotland... BBC News - Toddler's 999 call to report drunk babysitter http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-12184777
@JenZeb
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JenZeb
Barbed wire is actually witch's shit.
@JenZeb
JenZeb
I feel that the title "Sports Personality of the Year" is pretty misleading. It implies that professional sports-people have personalities.
@JenZeb
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JenZeb
This horse was a really lovely colour but you can't really tell from the photo. http://yfrog.com/5rvgu0j
@JenZeb
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JenZeb
@carrozo You must have a well weird accent. ;)
@JenZeb in reply to carrozo
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JenZeb
In London on Monday? Feel free to meet myself and some other, lovely people here for food and drinks at about 6ish http://lock-tavern.co.uk/
@JenZeb
JenZeb
Lucy in the Sky with Dime-bars. #fatbeatles
@JenZeb
JenZeb
I just wish that for once I could freak out about something enough to try and shove a remote control up my ass.
@JenZeb
JenZeb
On returning from the loo I made sure to karate chop the lump in the duvet that could have been hiding a tiny assassin.
@JenZeb