Invading privacy because "If you've done nothing wrong, you have nothing to worry about" isn't so fun now, is it governments? #Wikileaks

If god really did exist, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't need to be protected by the narrow-minded fuckwits that claim they're doing so.

May the Sith be with you.

What?

Too soon?

Christian college cancels concert, because the band's name is "The New Pornographers". Reports are they're trying to sign "Incubus" instead.

I believe I'm losing my sense of humour. My family seems to have the gene which causes male pattern blandness.

Today is Ken Burns' birthday. The party is 6 hrs long, split over 2 nights, & will feature fascinating anecdotes & photos of vintage cakes.

Coming Soon:
Skype Starter, Skype Home Premium, Skype Professional, Skype Ultimate☨

☨Ultimate required to actually make calls.

Leonard Nimoy is 80 today - just beginning middle age. For a Vulcan.

I think it would be better if we put aside the old "Lent" thing and celebrated today with pot brownies. We could call it Mardi Grass.

London ice cream store to sell "free-range" breast milk ice cream called 'Baby Gaga'... I think they SHOULD call it 'Bodacious Tata'.

I must have misunderstood something, because this Mock Turtleneck soup I made just tastes like dirty laundry and douchiness.

Why is it that when a road is crooked, it's pronounced "krook-id", but when I cook dinner it's not "kook-id"?

Changed my twitter name. Sorry for the confusion. Well, no, not really, but you know ... Canadian.

Carnac <envelope to head>: Phantom game console, Duke Nukem Forever, Tumblr. <opens envelope> Name 3 things which will be appearing "soon".

A NYC man saved a fellow rider who fainted on subway rails. Don't worry, NY isn't getting soft: he did it to keep the train from being late.

PROTIP: If you want to try & flush out your sinuses due to a burgeoning infection, a WaterPik ISN'T "just like" a super-powered neti pot.

47 yrs ago today the very first episode of Doctor Who was broadcast, but I'm still waiting for a real sonic screwdriver to be invented. WTF?

I'm spending way too much time in my Star Trek Online RPG. This A.M. the wife farted & I shouted "Hull breach! Deploy damage control teams!"

A Wal-Mart greeter in Wisconsin just celebrated her 100th birthday. At her current pay rate, she is a mere 20 yrs from affording retirement.

I bought some noise-cancelling headphones and put them on my daughter - and she disappeared into thin air.