Jock_Bastard

@Jock_Bastard

Jock Bàstard

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Following 914
Followers 1,771
I hate everyone. Especially you.
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@Jock_Bastard best tweets
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Jock_Bastard
Valentines day is cancelled.

14-02-12 = 0

Mathematical proof.
@Jock_Bastard
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Jock_Bastard
“@UberFacts: A 16-year-old boy died after masturbating 42 times without stopping in Rubiato town, Brazil.” <-- Fucking lightweight!
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Jock_Bastard
1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance.........

The 5 stages of buying Petrol.
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Jock_Bastard
If you're ginger, never get a brazilian.

It'll look like a fish finger.
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Jock_Bastard
I keep looking at porn. Boo hoo boo hoo....
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Jock_Bastard
Time for the Scottish news. Some cunt got stabbed. Some cunt got a doing. Some junkie cunt o/d'd. Now, the weather. It's pissing down.
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Jock_Bastard
Me and the wife were doing a bit of role play the other night, She was going to be my boss.

I called in sick.
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Jock_Bastard
I no longer see my wife and kids and it's all because of gambling.

I won shit loads of money and moved to Spain.
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Jock_Bastard
Jezza, sponsored by colgate. For that chavscum smile. http://t.co/xPYP4c2L
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Jock_Bastard
Let's face it. You'd need to be seriously desperate to chug off whilst watching babestation.
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Jock_Bastard
Fucking BBC leftie wankers. Spot the poster. #tossers http://t.co/Mk5iowjI
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Jock_Bastard
Apparently, I've completely ruined a family's Xmas due to being sold out of vacuum packed chestnuts. Stupid fucking idiot.
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Jock_Bastard
Good news for narcoleptics.

Only 178 sleeps until christmas.
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Jock_Bastard
I sympathise with the travellers at Dale Farm. I too have a lifestyle choice that attracts persecution from the government. I have a job.
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Jock_Bastard
"@CherylColeUK: Please RT. Does anyone know who this idiot is? http://t.co/VOKIEmn" Is it Ashley?
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Jock_Bastard
Every time a Tweet is stolen a third world kid starves.
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Jock_Bastard
Polish fans have threatened to plough up England's training pitch in the night. Shocking news - even their hooligans work harder than yours.
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Jock_Bastard
I'd love it if Vidal Sassoon's funeral was an open casket affair. Then we could see his head and shoulders.
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