Dear Westboro Baptist Church,
We have a funeral you can protest. It's in Pakistan, we'll help you pack.
Sincerely,
America

@knowjr When I was young, our phones had no games... they were attached to a wall with CORDS. #LifeWasHard ;)

Dear Netflix: Unless you're planning in increasing your streaming offerings, this is a huge #fail.

#win RT @Fake_Dispatch: BREAKING: The Glee pre-show is almost over.

Just Googled "Santorum" to see what the big deal was about his name. #TooMuchInformation #CanNeverUnlearnThat

@brookeburke no because I was looking for the earrings that made your butt look big. Don't confuse me! LOL. :)

@AndyKindler One would think you'd have practice operating small parts. #WasUnableToStopMyselfFromTypingThisTweet

Daily @GrouponLincoln : Half off a Brazilian Bikini Wax. Isn't the point that it be ALL off? #Ouch

Sarah Palin with Kate Gosselin. Where is a bear attack when you need it?

Vote for Nebraska's Alex Henery for the Rudy Awards http://ht.ly/3jxjL #huskers #LNK

Fun game-plugging in charger when only light in room is the phone. Alternate Name-How to Keep An Idiot in Blind Suspense.

@roywoodjr @FlawdaGator The first miner seemed nice but not all that funny. Based on experience, I expect the 3rd miner to make me laugh.

@NickadooLA Somebody hold me!

A friend & her family finally got good news today about her husband who has been in a coma since a stroke b4 Thanksgiving. #KeepPraying

@mat I feel I'm going to have to unfollow you with that avatar. I'm worried about seizures. :)

I like this. :) Lincoln, Nebraska: Home on the Prairie | People & Places | Smithsonian Magazine http://t.co/HRJJZ6wE via @addthis

Thought I'd swear off Diet Coke for Crystal Lite. I think CL is giving me migraines. I'm just switching to booze.

#DoingItAnyway

There may or may not have been a call on the police scanner regarding someone giving someone a wedgie. #TheTerroristsHaveWon

Per scanner, apparently police trying to get in place to direct traffic are stuck in same traffic. #YoureOnYourOwn #NUvsUT #GoBigRed #LNK