Dear Romeo,
My death isn't the only thing I've been faking....
Sincerely, Juliet.

You can tell the quality of a person by how they treat people they don't need.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

A bicycle can't stand on it's own because it is two tired.

The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

Had to look twice, laughed, then felt sick... http://t.co/nYTLIui

Opening doors isn't just for men. Women, you have arms and just as capable of being polite.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Best bum ever!! http://t.co/MD14wqS

If you have protected tweets, I think you've probably missed the whole point of twitter...

Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean "your mother."

" Discovery Channel we should it like. Mammals, we are nothing more" #yodakaraoke

Theres no hotter quality than that of a person that loves and adores their family. #fact

Who discovered that you could get milk from cows, and what the HELL did he think he was doing at the time?

White lies can hurt too

A 15 year old girl who is terminal with cancer has made a bucket list. 1 of her wishes is to trend on Twitter. RT or repost #alicebucketlist

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.