If you missed 10 O'Clock Live last night, Charlie Brooker's almost-rap about the Sun is well worth your time. http://t.co/A1wmETVV

I know it's late and time to consider sleep when the Groupon spam emails start coming through.

Loud explosion in Coventry area but police have no idea why. I imagine the Warwick Philosophy department have finally cracked reality open.

I nearly died laughing reading this blog post. Only fair, as it sounds like @1607WestEgg nearly died researching it. http://t.co/HtrdRpbn

#howtopissyourgirloff Take part in misogynist hashtags on Twitter?

I haven't placed a bet on the Grand National, but I am letting myself eat a jelly bean whenever the cat completes a lap of my room.

Apparently the Daily Mail has won Paper of the Year, narrowly beating out Andrex due to sheer volume of shit absorbed.

It's hard to say which did more to make Chelmsford a city: the building of the cathedral in 1914 or the opening of Nando's in 2010.

Dirk Gently tonight on BBC4! If you want a crazy version of Sherlock, this is your man. Preview on @TVDigitalFix: http://t.co/vTHatmwQ

#XFactor has now evicted all the groups except the ones they formed themselves. A fitting analogy for how they plan to remake our world.

Listen to that booing. The public are enraged by the appalling decision made by the public. #xfactor

So, trending topic #TeamBreezyLovesChrisBrown translates to "Chris Brown Fans Love Chris Brown"? They're really making a statement there.

Just heard Alan Moore talk about himself and Neil Gaiman as Japanese schoolgirls. Presumably he'd at least need to shave.

The BBC have commissioned a second series of The Hour! Good BBC. Well done. http://t.co/IToVKXN

After the news that Spooks is to end this year, I wrote a tearful eulogy for @TVDigitalFix - http://t.co/HtDlTNF

BBC news projecting a breezy air of "well, that was that". Presumably all the rioters have been quietly shot into the sun or something.

This week's Friday story is about sheep and sandwiches. I'm totally selling out. http://bit.ly/r7zLeF #FridayFlash

Doctor Who renewed for seventh year with Matt Smith, meaning he'll do as many full series as Tennant. That went fast. http://bit.ly/k4fQMm

Just spotted an iPad 2 with foldy smartcover on the train. The owner is undercutting the sleek coolness of it by picking her nose.

A stock photo you could crop for almost all your generic article needs. http://istockpho.to/eXFGoC /via @sadeagle