My bra is magic: I put a $10 bill in the left cup this morning & a few min. ago I found 2 $5 bills in the right cup. My bra makes change!

Mom tells me again that the type of men I like "sure look like your brothers"-after hitting her in the throat, I start to hear banjo music..

A few minutes ago I decided I was done being a bitch, well all that changed when I wasn't given a frigging fortune cookie w/ my meal.

It's at times crushing to watch my son grow older & the Autism intensifying as his mind & body change. One day @ a time gets us through it.

I'm pretty sure I'd be the only person NOT dancing in a flash mob. I'd just be bobbing my head.

Seeing the hot surgeon and no, I opted not to shave my legs. Thought u ought to know. Just sayin. Sasquatch's fat sister?

Fake Twitter accounts suck. Fool me once. That's all it takes.

I HATE when people behind u say "I'm rt behind you" as if u didn't see them & that u might crush them if they don't announce their presence

G'ma is putting curlers in her hair for her 92nd birthday tomorrow; tells me I might start showing a little care w/ my hair 2. Piece of work

No matter how much u talk about Glee-even if my son had a role on the show, I'm not interested. Glee is Gloring.

Jails, institutions, death. Visited 2, God's Grace keeps me from the 3rd a day @ a time.

No people, vampires have to exist first before we can get high off their blood. Kentucky will be the 1st to try to patent make believe shit

Again, wish an alien ship would zap my uterus to dust; no, they can take it all, have 'pie in the sky'-it's gettin old...& so it is written!

Is it totally odd or totally sick that my son's case manager is an older woman that drenches herself in patchouli oil?

“@shanethevein: A monk ripped a fart so loud it broke his vow of silence.”
-->Should be on a hallmark card

“@nprnews: Priest Defends Denying Communion To Lesbian Mourner http://t.co/TjxJ7CNH”
<hypocrisy much?>

Supportive & friendly women #FF: @SherriPizza @jerz26

@SherriPizza : We had/have milestones & mountains, breakdowns & breakthroughs. Fight for autism & fight against it. Isolated.

@andrewzimmern: Congrats on 19 years one day at a time! Attraction not promotion! Thx for sharing. :0)

@autismexpert :Can u pls tell me about some computer programs/games for my 9yr old son (ASD, high-func, non asp) he loves computers pls help