A brief history of the Web:

TIM B-L: "I invented this stateless protocol."

EVERYONE ELSE: "Neat! Here's a silly hack to add state to it."

If Windows 7 was your idea, please keep the rest of them to yourself.

@timbray @avdi The closest analogy I can think of is "You know how there are a lot of brick buildings? He invented bricks."

The main heat sources in my apartment are sunlight and shivering.

Osama Bin Laden is dead. He said several times that his goal was to provoke the US into massive overreaction, then bankruptcy. Well played.

Tony Hayward, BP's CEO, would "like his life back." I'm sure there's a lot of Cajun shrimpers who feel the same way.

Work is a terrible, insidious drug. I urge any young people reading this to have nothing to do with it. Don't go down that road I did.

Is there a word for a right-wing movement that uses violence, propaganda and intimdation? I bet the Germans have a word for it.

@avdi I must be doing it wrong. My working life involves staring at a screen, typing, listening to music on headphones, and saying "fuck."

Even if I accomplish nothing else today, I made the goddamn bed and washed the goddamn dishes. Goddammit.

@TheBosha Hmm, dead fish and waterbirds. I'm no government biologist, but has something weird recently happened in the ocean?

I'm listening to a lot of classical music today since I learned there are full symphonies on Youtube. It's not all cats falling off things.

Everyone who's tweeting "Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Bacon": very good. Now go read a second book. #replacebooktitleswithbacon

Wake up, drink coffee, catch up on the lives of hundreds of people I have never met but consider friends, put on pants. #LifeIn2011

Yum. Food. One of my favorite things to eat.

"HARDWARE: The part of the computer you can kick, as opposed to SOFTWARE, which can only be sworn at."

I'm a Web developer working with Ruby on Rails. But I tell my parents that I play piano in a whorehouse.

There's a woman in here who looks like a blonde Sarah Palin. Just to be on the safe side, I'm giving her dirty looks.

Higher-paid CEOs "come to view lower level workers as dispensable objects," says a new study FROM THE INSTITUTE FOR THE BLINDINGLY OBVIOUS

The German word for "birth control pill" is the best word ever: "Antibabypille."