I love my anniversary. Mostly because I hear "you deserve an award for staying married to him" a lot. It's fun.

When you're already going 10mph under the speed limit, do you still need to slow down for cops? I'm asking for THIS IDIOT IN FRONT OF ME.

My dream is to someday have more than one person star my tweets. That sounds dirty. But I love it.

Rainy, cold, lazy day. Definitely the kind of day that makes you want to stay in bed. I mean, I do most days, but for other reasons.

Burger King has "angry chicken." What exactly does that mean? And going in or coming out...I'm not sure either way is a real selling point.

Watching a wrinkle cream commercial, 6-yr old says "Maybe mom could get that." Thanks. I needed that today. Just punch me.

I need to return a call to someone who is ridiculously long winded & never stays on topic. Trying to think of a way to not call back. Ugh.

Thought I had Monday cornered, I had it right where I wanted it...then, SURPRISE. Monday has moves I never would've guessed. Thanks Monday.

Lady, just so you know, the tiny T & spandex shorts don't make you look any less like your 5yr old's grandma. You had him late, embrace it.

Done with the portion of my day that requires me to be awake & articulate. Onto sleepy & incoherent.

School supply hangover. It looks like the office supply store threw up in our kitchen.

Morning people make we want to punch them in the face.

HEY LADY YES YOU WAY OVER THERE - I DON'T CARE WHO YOU DATED OR WHEN OR WHAT THE DOCTOR SAID - QUIT TALKING SO LOUD.

Two & a-half hours in a meeting...and I left EARLY. Good to know Obama will fix all that with health care reform.

Let's hope this group I'm teaching isn't alert enough to notice that I'm not really paying attention either.

It's official. I'm old. My kids' bedtimes are later than mine.

As much as I love playing soccer, it sure makes you look like a victim of abuse. And by you, I mean me. Bruises everywhere.

Driving home, tired, surrounded by rush hour traffic, I ponder the deeper questions. Like if that nose picker procreated.

Huz told 6 yr-old to be more careful after tripping last night. 6 yr-old's answer: "Well I wasn't the one holding the flashlight." Love him.

Halloween shopping tonight, 15-yr-old asked "why does every girl feel the need to dress up like a whoremonger for Halloween?"