#IStandWithObama in line to see Men In Black 3. "Have you seen the first two?" I ask him. "No," he says.

#IStandWithObama as he realizes my awful jokes have caused his hashtag to stop trending. "Thanks a lot, asshole," he says to me.

#IStandWithObama awkwardly in a corner, watching the other partygoers. "Sorry," he says, "didn't know she'd be here." "S'okay," I respond.

#IStandWithObama outside of a Sears. "The prices are ridiculous here," I say to him. "Oh? Let's go somewhere else," he replies.

@SquadDeep Yo, Broseph Francis Wolfington the Third, 'sup?

#HappyBirthdayBookerT, you crazy guy you. May your birthday be far more tweeted about than that of a talentless teen idol.

#IStandWithObama on my porch. "You should really cut that lawn," he says frankly as he sips his iced tea.

#IStandWithObama in line at a Rita's. "I love Strawberry water ice," he tells me after ordering a Chocolate and Cherry Gelati.

@TheSeanAlfe Alright, yeah. See you later. Call me sometime. I got a new phone, so I don't have your number saved.

@TheSeanAlfe Same, same. Man. Good catching up.

@TheSeanAlfe I'm good. Yeah, I've had a twitter account for a while. How 'bout you?

@TheSeanAlfe Whoa, hey! I didn't even know you had a twitter account! I'm good; how are you?

@TheSeanAlfe Hey; how have you been?

Celebrate twenty years of @TheSeanAlfe with the Sean Alfe 20th Anniversary Collector's Box, featuring five DVDs of classic Alfe moments.

@SquadDeep Also this gif may be relevant to your interests. http://t.co/dzEK9GGl

.@WWEDanielBryan May I suggest you make this your entrance from now on? http://t.co/WlatbJlt

Therefore, I am suggesting that all US Public Schools replace numerical grades with likes.

"As Admiral Ackbar said: it's a trap." - An MSNBC Reporter about the South Carolina primary, to no reaction from his colleagues.

"The broadcast time that will, um... be broadcast on Comcast Channel 9, or Verizon FIOS Channel 49." - #sosaysrusso

@philaphillies Why doesn't Sarge say Cadillac Time after a home run anymore? #askthebooth