It's a damn shame when attractive people are religious.

Death is inevitable. so is falling in love. But if I have to choose between the two. I choose death.

You think you have it hard? There's people in third world countries who masturbate without porn! That's HARD!

It doesn't matter what people think of you because at the end of the day, it's what you have to say about yourself that matters.

You're cute but you're not puppy dog cute. So, go away.

One of my goals in life is to be able to touch people with my arts. By arts, I mean my penis.

I hate it when people say I'm wrong especially when I know that they're right about me being wrong.

Ladies, when you decide to suck on a dick. Make sure you get the job done. don't do it half-assed. that means. SWALLOW!

Don't worry people. Your depression, heartache and sorrow will end sooner than you think. I mean, nobody lives forever, you'll die someday.

Just because you think a person is beautiful or perfect doesn't mean they don't have their own insecurities. Be kind. Words do hurt.

I don't mind people being religious as long as they're ugly.

I wonder if Jesus died a virgin.

Dear Catholics, being gay is not a choice however molesting a 5 year old boy is.

I'm having one of those days when I feel like getting raped.

I may not be good looking, I may not have much money, I may not have a big penis.. but...I don't remember where I was going with this.

They say condoms are cheaper than diapers. Who the fuck would wear a diaper to have sex?

Sorry girls, I'm no Bruno Mars, I won't catch a grenade for you. In fact, if such situation ever happened, I'd use you as a human shield.

Penises never lie unless there's Viagra involved.

Going down on a woman is like finding nemo.

I find it adorable that Tom Cruise keeps passing himself off as a straight man.