alegna24

@alegna24

Alegna Raffaz

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@alegna24 best tweets
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alegna24
With subpar graphics and no discernable plot, TurboTax is, hands down, the worst video game I have ever played.
@alegna24
Retweet Details
alegna24
MY BOYFRIEND IS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!!!

Just kidding.

I don't have a life.

Or a boyfriend.
@alegna24
alegna24
Current boyfriend prospects:

1. Guy standing on street corner zipping up his pants

2. My parents' cat

3. Sock puppet

4. Vodka
@alegna24
alegna24
The blood is coming from INSIDE THE VAGINA!
@alegna24
alegna24
The weatherman sounds like he's describing senior citizen porn: "Not much action going on--mild dry spells sprinkled with warm drizzle."
@alegna24
alegna24
Q: How many Justin Biebers does it take to screw a Miley Cyrus?


A: TRICK QUESTION. RICKY MARTIN IS GAY
@alegna24
alegna24
If Obama sees his shadow tomorrow, everyone will be given a unicorn. And a Macbook Pro. And winter will be illegal.

Look it up.
@alegna24
alegna24
I just got sexually harassed by a five year old.

"LET ME SEE YOUR UNDERWEAR!"
@alegna24
Retweet Details
alegna24
On route to work, I walked four blocks out of my way to buy peanut M&Ms. And gummy bears. And vodka.

THIS IS WHY I CAN'T HAVE NICE ABS
@alegna24
alegna24
I save money on birth control by not shaving my legs for 5-10 weeks. #themoreyouknow
@alegna24
alegna24
Guys. Have you EVER seen Lady Gaga and Dustin Hoffman in the same room at the same time??

I just blew your minds.
@alegna24
alegna24
I am going to hell.

Because I just built a Michael Jackson scarecrow and put it in my roommate's bedroom.

It was worth it.
@alegna24
alegna24
Little bunny Fou Fou,
hopping through the forest.
Picking up prescriptions,
and popping all the meds.
@alegna24
alegna24
Knowing that someday Spencer Pratt will die assures me that eventually, everything will be ok.
@alegna24
alegna24
Combining key words from past tweets to create the ULTIMATE TWEET:

"Weeping, the bacon Christ was naked on Vodka Monday AS USALLY"

UNICORN
@alegna24
alegna24
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, wear a diaper and drive across the country to threaten them until they love you.
@alegna24
alegna24
PRO-TIP: Do not ever test pepper spray in your closet. Don't test it ANYWHERE. It works. Just trust me on this one, guys.
@alegna24
alegna24
If you text PAULYSHORE to 90990,the Red Cross will rescue the careers of every celebrity involved in the movie "Valentine's Day".
@alegna24
alegna24
Summer is over.

R.I.P Shaving my legs.
@alegna24