I washed and put away the flannel sheets. If experience tells me anything, that means it will snow tonight.

My timeline is filled with people saying, “Goodnight!” and then tweeting for another hour.

You’ve heard that breakfast is the most important meal of the day? Well, I inadvertently had two today. Starting to feel very important.

I like to freeze leftovers for a month or two before throwing them away.

Saw a pink Hummer for the first time. The windows were tinted, so I couldn’t tell if Barbie or Ken was driving.

There’s nothing like unloading most of the dishwasher and then realizing the dishes are still dirty.

Saw a billboard advertising Quaker Steak & Lube, which sounds like a really bad oatmeal flavor.

I can’t wait for Talk Like a Valley Girl Day, fer sure, fer sure! That’ll be grody to the max.

Made it to the Post Office two minutes before they closed. This must be how my kids feel when they beat a level in a video game.

Found a pedometer I bought two months ago. So that’s a step in the right direction.

Saw a car with a wreath and candy cane on its grille. Now I feel bad. I usually just give my car a fresh tank of gas for Christmas.

I take your tweets with a grain of salt, which explains why my sodium levels are off the charts.

I was surprised when 3 teenagers rang the bell and asked to see their dad. Luckily they belonged to the contractor. Hubby lives another day.

I have to eat six about-to-expire yogurts today. Talk about culture shock.

This new box of “designer” Kleenex makes the rest of my living room look like crap.

I bought cocoa bark mulch. It smells too good to use outside, so I’m spreading it on the carpet.

Told my kid, "I don't make the rules." But of course I do.

I started wearing a new night cream to bed, and it works! I’ve noticed that my pillowcase is a lot softer.

A friend is taking me out to lunch to “discuss something.” I hope she doesn’t want one of my kidneys.

I wrote five checks and mailed them in stamped envelopes. Like a Barbarian.