Thank God someone unfollowed: its really throwing out my 2:1 ratio I am working on

Ever start a tweet, delete it, try another way @, delete, 3rd attempt, delete, then try for 140 characters, then give up..this is that tweet

searching for new "followings" is like being a kid in a toy store: funny, dysfunc, funny dysfunc, pissfunny, weefunny .... look mum penis!

If our bodies are a temple, then mine is being run by a low rent slum lord!

twitter makes me realise that my probs are not big or small; their just mine to own & solve

You know the one thing I miss about my exhubbie ................................ nope got nothing ..... oh hang on ............ nope nothing

I have #69 followers; whether real or not, this is the closest Im getting to sex for a while; another dear diary moment - bless!

OMG I love it when someone gives me feedback on eBay - its like Favstar but Ive paid for it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG greek neighbours are SCREAMING at each other - is it just a little to rude if I knock on the door & ask them to start again in English

tomorrow will be sponsored by the words: ''uncomplicated'' & ''cute'', along with a guest word ''cynical''

Only problem with a SlowCooker is that it takes 8hrs to find out if you completely FARKED up a dish or not

I think I might have eaten close to my body weight in licorce this past week ..... its only going to end in my tears and 4ply

Need new jeans: tattoo thats 6wks old now visible everytime I stretch ...... going to make it hard to convince ppl on my being conservative

Ok, tonight I am planning on getting drunk, dancing in my underpants whilst doing some housework & tweeting about it - in that order!

Today is the day I am going to achieve - not "over", not "under", just achieve - firstly, a walk and coffee! Cya later

Just in case you were wondering, cats do not get muffin tops.

That would be stupid, as cats don't wear pants or eat muffins.

In bed, with freshly washed sheets. This feels so right on so many levels. Just wrap me in 1500tc when I die. It's all I need.

Done a major cull of my followings -seriously, if you dont want to follow i am aok with that, if your stuff is any good it will make favstar

So, now its time for me to go to work for my first part-time day!!!! Im excited, Im scared and I hope I dont FUCK IT UP!!!! Mwah Bo

It looks like I'm an expert in napping. Do I get any Klout points for that? :s