Is this Love Actually? IS HUGH GRANT OUR NEW PRIME MINISTER? *confused face* #bbcqt

Facebook are using twitter to tell people facebook is broken. The people on Twitter don't bloody care it's broken. Get a whale Zuckerburg.

If there's one thing I've never been able to understand, it's people that PEEL mushrooms.

A dog in a pram. http://t.co/bgjjsdYj

Isn't it lovely going to bed with a nice clean kitchen? NO ACTUALLY IT ISN'T, I'D MUCH RATHER BE OFF MY FACE ON WARM CIDER TA.

Please don't come round and climb through my window weirdos.

Hands up who's going to drink 'till they're sick tonight?

YORK PEOPLE and DIE HARD JUSTIN BIEBER FANS, I'm selling a life size cutout of Justin to raise money for charity, LOOK http://t.co/gEkEw7Oi

YORK PEOPLE and DIE HARD JUSTIN BIEBER FANS, I'm selling a life size cutout of Justin to raise money for charity, LOOK http://t.co/gEkEw7Oi

HELICOPTER.

And something else I need to check...when friends start using #hashtags in text messages is it ok to stab them next time you see them?

I can confirm that today's strike has in fact been good for the economy because they're all out shopping. #truefact #n30

TOTES MENTAL dream last night that Hugh Grant was on Question Time, he totally kicked ass and briefly became the nation's hero!

So that was a fairly bad Monday.

*TIME TO REMOVE THE 13.5 TOG DUVET*

Hello. I'm in MANCHESTER. Does anyone know any good pubs near The Ritz?

@alovelyhorse disparaître mentale de l'homme françaises!!

Well. That was a fairly rubbish Sunday, thank god there's Monday to look forward to.

THERE IS NO ESCAPE.

THIS. 2 o'clock this morning RT @ellie_blue_eyes: @cookeharry just in case you had forgotten http://t.co/gGV0Pd6W