dperis

@dperis

David Peris

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@dperis best tweets
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dperis
WE CAN STOP TAKING OUR SHOES OFF IN THE AIRPORT
@dperis
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dperis
Unless you are fat or were fat, no need to clog the Internet with "I just ran 8 miles" postings.
@dperis
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dperis
Pushing my kid on the swing is about 14 million times better than being in front of a computer.
@dperis
dperis
New life insurance policy. Scared to read fine print. "Cannot die laughing." "Cannot die in Lamborghini full of nymphomaniacs."
@dperis
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dperis
I hate anchovies and the phrase "from the mind of M. Night Shamayalan".
@dperis
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dperis
Had dream that Twitter went bust and was then sold to fortune cookie company
@dperis
dperis
Is kinda sad that someone asked if my cell phone was same one used in movie Wall Street in '87
@dperis
dperis
Dear @sxsw... You have all these genius people talking about genius things, but it takes 2hrs in line to get badge?? Knickerbocker please!
@dperis
dperis
@MarkGhuneim You need to resurrect the Ping of Death.
@dperis in reply to MarkGhuneim
dperis
Dear Seal... there are other fish in the sea.
@dperis
dperis
Ticket website for largest venue in my town says: "This site requires Netscape Navigator 4.77 or Microsoft Internet Explorer 5.5 or higher"
@dperis
dperis
@the_mical "Under the Bridgestone" #90sSongProductPlacements
@dperis in reply to the_mical
dperis
Happy to be a tiny part of this; do see it... http://t.co/SzgYUtQT
@dperis
dperis
It's very odd that I could now possibly bump into Robert Plant in the grocery store here in Austin. Talk about a mop cleanup in aisle 4...
@dperis
dperis
If you're at a job and your boss asks you to come in his room while "Hallelujah" is playing, you might want to run for your life.
@dperis
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dperis
Walking through airport, you can tell who is going to visit someone they met on the Internet.
@dperis
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dperis
Spoiler... most of those dumb QR codes just say... "drink your Ovaltine".
@dperis
dperis
Austin radio DJ was just asked by a listener if he liked Coldplay... "I do, very much." Listener: "I will pray for you."
@dperis
dperis
Social networks are like nudist camps; the people you'd rather not tend to expose themselves.
@dperis
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