I've never understood the peanuts-in-a-bucket thing at restaurants. It's like "Here, make a mess all over our floor and table." Douche move.

It's late. I'm gonna be irritable in the morning. I'll tell people to blame Twitter. I'll tell Twitter to blame people.

Genius.

Who me?

Just cutting this picture of Taylor Swift out of People and putting it on my wall.


No I'M pathetic!



Wait... crap.

Mom just yelled at me for eating these grapes loudly.

"It's a grape. Just bite it. You don't chew."

Welcome to my life.

No school for the fourth day in a row today.

I'm starting to forget the stuff I never learned in the first place.

For Twitter's sake, I hope and pray that there is a Toyota commercial tonight.

I'm sorry, I just don't see how this trigonometry will help me with my career as a Farmville farmer.

Looking at my house on Google Earth and wondering why the car is the driveway is not ours.

If you go back and watch that Megan Fox commercial and look really hard, you can see she has a cell phone in her hand.

Good news: I found everyone on America's Most Wanted.
Bad news: I'm in Walmart.

All finished at the dentist. My mouth is more numb than the heart of an emo kid. And I'm okay with that.

For now.

Too legitimate to quitimate.

Note to self:

Try not to throw up on the bus tomorrow.

Two days in a row and they might get suspicious.

Lady, last time I checked, this bus had four wheels. It'd be nice if you took these turns on at least 3.

It's sad when gas prices are higher than half of your school's GPA.

I'm so anal that I get pissed when the font of subtitles changes.

First full day back at school. I feel like I don't have an appropriate simile.

Oh God! I used "your" as "you're" in that last tweet!!!

Deleting account now.

I would kill to get this homework done in the next 20 minutes but noooooooo.

It's apparently "against the law" to kill. Whatever.

Renting Jennifer's Body on iTunes.

All right, to be honest, I just saw "Megan Fox" and almost punched a toddler to download it.