I like plaid. But my favorite clothing pattern is a giant graphic telling me what year the brand was established.

How I know I'm not charging enough for design work: client TOLD ME to watch @Mike_FTW's "Fuck You, Pay Me" video.

I'm no scientist, but you can't tell me that gummy bears and Mountain Dew don't come from the same tree.

If this works, it'll keep us from getting caught. If it doesn't, it'll keep us from getting old. —MacGyver

Overheard in my apartment: "Oh crap, who did I FOLLOW last night?" #sftu

Turns out there's a statute regarding public indecency with a carton of egg nog. Anyway, I've been arrested.

Someone should invent a bed you can wear. Because my lunch isn't gonna make itself.

...

Someone should invent a lunch that makes itself.

Hey has anyone seen my science? No? I guess that's because I just DROPPED IT.

The science. I just dro-- never mind.

Speaking is just one prerequisite for writing. The others are flexibility, openness, and substance abuse.

I can't figure out how to unlock the March level. Maybe I need to play February again.

OOO GIRL YOU MAKE ME WANNA CLOSE MY DOCUMENT WITHOUT SAVING ANY CHANGES [ OK ] [ CANCEL ]

Red Bull Plus Oatmeal Equals No.

Must...start...giving a damn. Semester...closing. Coffee...running out.

The number of good design books at the Oakland public library can be counted on one penis.

For those keeping track at home, the final score is Neighbor's Christmas Sex: 1, Noise-Masking Kanye West Soundtrack: 0.

Why is there a Dianetics float in a Filipino pride parade? We didn't invent that mess. http://t.co/nqdtzG0

James Franco softened my hands AND did my dishes. #franco

I won't tell you which Britney Spears track is playing now. Because I've already said too much.

Legitimacy in design practice is found in the measurable crafting of the human experience. And by extension, in this latte -foam Spongebob.

My love of violins has always played second fiddle to my love of fiddles.