my grandfather polished his shoes every morning. i polish my phone. we're not that different, him and i.

it's friday night and my date is giving me an evil stare. and, by evil stare i mean the spinning beach ball. and by date, i mean photoshop.

i'm single and live alone, yet i still close the bathroom door when i pee, and put the toilet seat back down.

i think my mom won the war.

i want to make the movie “un-objectified” where i interview the “designers” of crappy products and force them to explain themselves.

when did designers start letting non-designers make usability decisions and tell them what to do?

someone just texted me and called me babe.

they have the wrong number,
but the sentiment is nice.

this is why the internet: http://t.co/q6xXE5CZ


/via @jina /@joeypfeifer

the side-effect of twitter spam is that i simply don't watch who follows me anymore. there might be awesome people hidden in the boobies.

whole foods is just a college cafeteria for adults.

i say "unbelievable" a lot when, in reality, i believe it, but i just think it's a shitty idea.

pears must hate their bodies.

good design is a constant battle against the tyranny of good enough.

i am now that old guy who gets indignant when i can't get a seat at *my* coffee shop because of the students.

what is happening to me?

i hope hell exists for bad packaging designers.

i hope it consists of them repeatedly trying to open their own impossible-to-open designs.

couples of the world: i know you're all madly in love and stuff, but the rest of us would like to share the sidewalk from time to time.

snow day? no. unfortunately, i can work from anywhere with an internet connection. unless… brb…

[throws router in a snowbank]

snow day.

forget the ipad. can we move on to next-gen iphone rumors yet?

i'm hoping for cellular service delivered via panda bear tears. also bacon.

here's the thing about bill gates on twitter: i don't care.

the only two possible USPS package-tracking statuses:

“we've never heard of your package.”

“your package was delivered 2-3 days ago.”

when you're in instapaper and you think, “i should send that article to instapaper to read later,” you might have a problem.