Hilary says the decision on yet more new Jewish Settlements is 'counterproductive'. Good on you Hilary, you fucking told them there.

Of the Twinings Tea range, i find English Breakfast is the least favourable; the hint of tomato ketchup on bacon an unsophisticated note.

Has Owen Jones prepped by reading the Ladybird Book of Poltics? #bbcqt

Somebody should tell that American bloke that a tie with a lumberjack shirt, jeans and trainers is not a good look.

I'm now being consulted about the colour of towels for the kitchen! *feigning interest while holding absolutely no view*

The other finches look down their noses at the Chavfinch.

I think the lack of foresight in being predictable is lamentable. Sometimes.

Cameron hasn't even opened his mouth on Andrew Marr's show, and already I don't believe him!

#F1 everything is fine, as far as Bernie and his autocratic fellow multi-billionaires are concerned. Feel ashamed of F1 this weekend.

When God gave us Steve Wright in the afternoon, I'm sure he didn't intend for us to have to listen to it for all eternity!

I'm afraid can't remember last time my bottom was inspected! http://t.co/97CKzJ2T

@OhLookBirdies it's, 'don't anyone move, this is a rubbery'

Surely, if a man refuses to shake the hand of the opposition in a football Match to signify fair play; the Ref should have sent him off.

Got a much improved download speed this morning; must have been all that liquorice last night.

I had a terrible premonition last night that next year is more than likely going to be just more of the same. Maybe. Probly.

Y'know how my bio says I'm a 'would be painter' - just finished a watercolour. http://t.co/wYesOuDy

Ed Balls shows a strict fiscal policy in relation to not spending very much in paying for a decent hairdresser.

No harm to you Margaret, but can I have my cake made by Beckie please? http://t.co/eDLbsYNT

Life's very good when treading the knife edge of expectation, and spooning turns into forking

I'm doing a crossword; whats that word for oral sex again, its on the tip of my tongue?