lordofslaughter

@lordofslaughter

Lordofslaughter

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Following 493
Followers 306
Friend to many a celebrity & enjoy mixing in the upper echelons of society.
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@lordofslaughter best tweets
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lordofslaughter
3 large clouds are ganging up on me.
@lordofslaughter
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lordofslaughter
As I tramp up & down a ladder carrying bricks at the age of 75 I shall think of Mr Osborne with fond contempt. #budget #paidinforfortyyears
@lordofslaughter
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lordofslaughter
I was washing my car earlier & Fred from no14 said "There's another one here you can wash. AHAHAHA" Oh! We did laugh! S.
@lordofslaughter
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lordofslaughter
Only 1 Whore plying her trade on my followers list this morning. Is there something wrong with me?
@lordofslaughter
lordofslaughter
How much IS a flaggon of petrol these days, anyway?
@lordofslaughter
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lordofslaughter
12 bob for a fucking stamp! I'll have to save a lot of red elastic bands left in my driveway to balance my postage budget!
@lordofslaughter
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lordofslaughter
Dear @twitter Do you provide a counselling service for twitter addicts? If not, I shall persue you via the judicial system.
@lordofslaughter
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lordofslaughter
The Count of Montego Cristo. #carfilms
@lordofslaughter
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lordofslaughter
Drunk! Me! Today I've done the washing, shopping, ironing & cooking!! Of course, i've no idea what i've washed, bought, ironed or cooked.
@lordofslaughter
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lordofslaughter
A woman has just recognised me from 13 years ago.Not a clue who she is. But i'm thrilled all the same. I wouldn't know me after13 years .
@lordofslaughter
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lordofslaughter
Michael Parkinson should be dragged through the streets on a tumbril for advertising crap insurance products.
@lordofslaughter
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lordofslaughter
I've just seen a cloud floating past my sky. It looked like fuck all. I want a refund from the cloud appreciation society
@lordofslaughter
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lordofslaughter
Do you really want to see .#newsnight with someone called 'Rees-Mogg' on it. I don;t think he'd have been happy at my school.
@lordofslaughter
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lordofslaughter
You know on CSI progs when they find bodies in bins? Well there's no chance of that here 'cos the binmen will throw them all on the floor.
@lordofslaughter
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lordofslaughter
Actually #ilove1971 was a pretty shit year, so I don't know why I keep tweeting about it.
@lordofslaughter
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lordofslaughter
Has anyone noticed that Esther Rantzen has big teeth?
@lordofslaughter
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lordofslaughter
My 'Busy Lizzies' arrived by post today! I have planted the 3 out of the 24 that survived the postal system. They seem quite happy.
@lordofslaughter
lordofslaughter
Look Alice! There's only so much you can say about woolly mammoths. Give it a rest & show us how to knit a jumper out of one. #Bbc2
@lordofslaughter
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