Facebook buys Instagram - *cue outrage for wannabe hipsters worldwide*.

New iPhone is all set up, with the wonderful @elwooduk gracing my lock screen http://t.co/xtiel5OL

Body found on East Sands in St Andrews. http://j.mp/otXjqZ

It's funny how the more social networks you join, the more of a social recluse you become.

You have got to be fucking shitting me. RT @KerrangMagazine: Best International Newcomer: Black Veil Brides #kerrangawards

@DVJones89 If I fail tomorrow I'm definitely going to punch a baby.

@BulletSocial I'm in.

AMAZING. @27bslash6: "YOU HAVE TO DO YOUR TIMESHEETS. EVERYONE DOES." http://t.co/iGayNr9a

@DVJones89 I fear that may be better than my 30p tatties...

My Anti Life stickers just arrived. (@antilifeuk) http://t.co/ZWiT2mi9

Up and at 'em. Banana sandwich. Coffee. Gym session with @DVJones89. Let's do this.

Which is a shame, since I was planning on buying those exact earphones and only wearing them when eating crisps. Bugger.

Earphone review on Amazon:

"I wouldn't wear them while eating crisps. They amplify the crunching sounds in your head alarmingly."

Watching Man City draw with WBA on MOTD is one of the best late Christmas presents I could have asked for.

Fifa 12 is only 69p on the App Store.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

Some much needed retail therapy. Not so much needed £40 out my account though. I feel like @bokareader.

I'm eating chicken noodle soup at 10.28pm. No-one told me student life would be this wild. #livingthedream

Putting together a seminar for Monday using OpenOffice Impress has made me realise a) it's shit, and b) everything should be done in Vim.

I'm from Glenrothes, and I've never been offered drugs as many times as I have in St Andrews tonight. Quite impressed actually.