Please fave this tweet in support of Bea’s boobs and I’ll donate 10¢ for every fave to the ACS for breast cancer research.

You mean AT&T had $39 billion sitting around and they WEREN’T BUILDING MORE FUCKING CELL TOWERS?!?!

Had to leave the bar after some asshole from Google kept sliding a phone over to me and saying “Hey, I think someone forgot this here!!”

The Tea Party is the biggest case of Stockholm Syndrome ever. Poor people rallying to the cause of those keeping them in poverty.

Fave this tweet if you want me and @AmyJane to do a podcast about @gruber.

Ever walk into the toilet and find a turd already there and just drop yours on top of it to save a flush? Well CNN is buying Mashable.

So the iPhone 4S has everything you expected, a few things more, and you’re annoyed it’s not an iPhone 5?

I hate sharing a planet with you.

You can call it the “Tea Party” all you want; but I know the Klan when I see it.

Steve Jobs had an incredible life. You should have one too.

Remember when Timothy McVeigh blew up Oklahoma City and 80% of the news was about him being a Christian?

Yeah, me neither.

7:04: Check-in from bathroom. 7:38: Check-in from café. 8:15: Check-in from bus stop. (Mayor!) 8:35: Bitch about Apple tracking my location.

While we were all focused on what Apple and Adobe were doing the open source community released a massive... Kidding, they didn’t do shit.

Jesus only had 12 followers.

Text QUAKE to 98734 to help the poor souls who spilled their Blue Bottle coffee on their G-Star jeans in the SF quake of 2011.

Pissed off about the Focus On the Family ad? Make a donation to Planned Parenthood: http://t.co/Nm0qCKRC

RT this.

We gave The Gap shit for the new logo. Then we gave The Gap shit for pulling it. Congratulations. We are a collective psychotic girlfriend.

Turn off everything new in Lion: defaults write NSChangeIsScary NSWhyTheFuckDidYouUpdateThenDumbass -bool MOMMY (relaunch required)

Never forget.

That Congress tried denying benefits to first responders and their families.

(Pssst. Hey, maybe if we pretend America has cancer Newt will just leave.)

Confidence doesn’t come from being the best at something. It comes from realizing you don’t have to be.