I can no longer look at Newt and not see Newt Chucky. http://t.co/qCbO0gRn Thanks for the psychic damage, @chrislhayes. #uppers

When Jobs tells this crowd "thank you all for coming," I don't think he means showing up.

My fantasy: Jobs doesn't mention the tablet. World is shocked. Then tonight, after his peroration, Obama pauses and adds: "one more thing…"

as a social experiment next semester, i'm going to walk up to strangers & request to be their friend. if they say no, i'll just follow them.

I'm starting an #occcupymsnbc movement for a @chrislhayes podcast.

Whoever designed the thermostat in this office should burn in hell. And then freeze. And then repeat at erratic intervals for all eternity.

BREAKING: "Death Certificate" joke has been killed by drones, sources confirm.

If Avatar wins, the Hurt Locker soldiers should blow up their fucking tree for real.

Never underestimate a people that can build fucking pyramids.

Watching Oscars for the tweets is the new Watching the Super Bowl for the ads.

Romney: "I'll bet you $10,000 I understand the plight of the poor."

i want a t-shirt that always shows my latest tweet.

Fun fact: The 2012 campaign cycle has already set a record for uses of the word "vagina".

Imagine if the singularity turned out to be an infinite chain of apps to help you choose an app to help you choose a minimalist text editor.

do the birds represent twitter, or the whale? why are the birds lifting the whale out of the ocean? isn't that bad for the whale?

n.b. If you talk on a Bluetooth headset while eating an ice cream cone, you look to the rest of the world like you think your cone is a mic.

Before we assume that Apple's finally figured out online services, let's remember that GameCenter and Ping both came out in the last year.

"googelganger" someone with your name with whom you battle for pagerank supremacy.

UPS trucks should dynamically reprioritize delivery routes, based on how frequently each recipient is reloading the package tracker.

Is there a reason Twitter doesn't automatically ban anyone with #teamfollowback in their bio?