The Big Dawg, Tim Westwood. Even back in the day, he looked cool. Here he is thinking about dropping the BOMMB. http://t.co/qXYq59Tf

Holy dick. Just realised that Bronn, badass bodyguard of Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones, is played by Jerome from 'Robson & Jerome'.

Bloody squirrels and their stupid secret bar-codes. They think they're sooo great. http://t.co/ZvJUnw08

EVERY DAY IM HUSTLIN' #hustlin' http://t.co/RhwzmToZ

Hey guys! Going out tonight? Looking to make an impression on the ladies? Why not try new Axe Night Attack! http://yfrog.com/j54vr0j

Last night a DJ shaved my wife.

RT @GarethAveyard: Had a Rustlers burger for lunch, some of the cooking instructions were a bit weird... http://t.co/vUvJSjZw

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want to. Oh. I thought this was my party and....I'm sorry for your loss.

RT @rupinjapan: Your daily dose of a walrus embarrassed by a birthday cake made of herring http://twitpic.com/4alo0x

RT @garethesque: This is one of the scariest Twitter accounts I've seen: https://t.co/eAWR3u0Q

I'm just starting my first nipple-carved glass sculpture. It is to be a depiction of a naked Adrian Chiles contemplating the cruelty of man.

I've written to Johnny Depp asking him to come to my work as Donnie Brasco and beat the hell out of me for asking him to take off his shoes.

Just been in a shop that was blasting True Colours by Cyndi Lauper so loud that I was overcome with emotion and began weeping into a Bounty.

Woah. RT @henriksen1: Ireland and the UK from outer space at night-time. What a beautiful planet we live on. http://t.co/E5M1odth

GhostBastards #swearyremakes

RT @Ted09: Single? Alone? Well...there's no need to feel lonely anymore..... http://twitpic.com/3otzlf

Watching One Direction being awful on Saturday Night Live. They look like fire damaged Ken dolls.

Ah crap...*starts running* http://t.co/Jpo6oNPc

Waiting at the bus stop. A group of lads in a car just drove past and shouted "Bus wanker!" at me. I hate people.

If you play 'Dark Side of the Moon' and watch 'The Wizard Of Oz' at the same time, you're unlikely to give either your full attention.