nobrelmes

@nobrelmes

Bob Nelmes

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@nobrelmes best tweets
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main stage. great line-up
1200: Sir Paul Stephenson
1315 John Yates
1430: Rupert and James Murdoch
1530: Rebekah Brooks
16:30 : U2
A prostitute and an executioner walks into a bar. Something about head. I dunno.
@MooseAllain When working for 118 118 I played a game to see if I could get a "caller" to say "I love you" to me.
Peter Kaye is on #theoneshow I bet he remembers some stuff and just says it. Legend.
Just saw a plastic bag being blown down the street. #hurricaneHell
@MooseAllain haha. Ours are "pointy" "thumper" "the clutching claw" "pinchy ( in the worse places)" and "captain chin".
@nobrelmes in reply to MooseAllain
@MooseAllain me and my 9yo boy play "creatures" he wakes my "sleeping" hand to wake the creatures, they tickle him until smoothed to sleep
@MooseAllain me and my mate play this. When walking through a park the first person to see a squirrel must buy a round of drinks.
@comedyfish and their other hits "can I touch your tits" and "woah! look at the arse on that". Cryptic.
@nobrelmes in reply to comedyfish
@ColinLusk frankly my rhea I don't give a damn. #quotesfrombirdmovies
@nobrelmes in reply to ColinLusk