If guys "rub one out", do girls "rub one in".

I'm asking for me.

I like to have a firm grip.

Of euphemisms.

Geez.

Him: Come. Sit.


Me: In which order?

I do like Americans.



But I couldn't eat a whole one.

Twitter. Where I'm typo positive.

It distresses me when I discover someone I know is stupid.

Because I know that sometime soon my filter will give out and I'll tell them.

My husband doesn't like it when I'm rude.


He must have a truly miserable life.

Noisy during sex?

I thought I kept a lid on it - till the kids avoided eye contact when I left the bathroom.

I'm Sneezy and Coughy. Dopey and Sleepy.


Three more and I get a free housekeeper.

"If you don't love yourself no one else will."
Yeah, thanks for rubbing it in!
Ooh. Just there. Rub harder.

16 informs me his right nostril is "letting in too much oxygen" and making him feel unbalanced.

So there's that.

I INSIST we play Hide The Penis this *very* instant.


Begin.

It's all very well to have your cranberry juice in a wine glass until someone arrives and sees it at 11 in the morning.

My boobies brought all my babies to the bra.

I've only done one thing I liked.And I wasn't supposed to do that.

Gravity, the law of attraction between bodies.

Or - why everything manages to fall down my cleavage.

This time 19 years ago I was listening to a little heartbeat on a monitor.This morning I was listening to,"I just came down for my cards"

Asked Hub if he had something I could suck for my sore throat.

His leer suggests he fancies his chances against Strep Willy.

My work here is done. I've been blocked by someone I don't even know. That takes talent, folks.

Can't keep a good man down, you say.

Well I beg to differ.

I've always found manacles keep him in place just fine.

Ahh, that full-mouthed feeling. The tingle on the tongue, the warmth oozing down my throat.

What?

I told you I was going to have whiskey.