@pixelpiper

Pixel Piper

twitter

Favs Rec'd	235,601
Awards Rec'd	451
Favstar Lists In	975
Following	831
Followers	4,720
Morally obtuse, she-nerd, iphone app developer with cynical tendencies...always had that pithy non sequitur thing going on.

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I'm not saying you're fat...

I'm just saying you photograph better in landscape mode.

@pixelpiper

If Robert Kardashian hadn't gotten OJ off, eventually one of his daughters would have.

@pixelpiper

Just ran over a flock of sheep...

OMG... ewe ewe ewe ewe!

@pixelpiper

Tori Spelling and Kelsey Grammer should get married.

Then she can correct his last name.

@pixelpiper

Bad news, my Uncle died.

Good news, I got my nose back.

Found it hidden in his sock drawer. Thank God it still smells.

@pixelpiper

Women don't want to be laid.

They want to be wooed.

Especially if the guy has really hard wooed.

@pixelpiper

Halter tops...

Perfect for holding two boobs and attracting a third.

@pixelpiper

White bread

Wheat bread

Corn bread

Inbred...

Popular breads in the South.

@pixelpiper

Caught my bf cheating.

Made him sleep in the wet spot...

after I stabbed him.

@pixelpiper

I see dead chickens ~ Poultrygeist

@pixelpiper

It's been so long since I've shaved my legs, our dogs think we got a new puppy.

@pixelpiper

I bought some tweets from IKEA...

Trying to put them together is a real bitch.

@pixelpiper

Ironic how a bug that women find so repulsive contains two words that give them so much pleasure...

cock...roach

@pixelpiper

I got my dignity back...

This time I'll hold it in place while you nail it.

@pixelpiper

I've actually seen stores sell pink camouflage clothing.

Pink?

Is this so you can break into Disneyland and hunt Bambi?

@pixelpiper

If my clitoris was a light switch, my bedroom light would be a strobe.

@pixelpiper

De-evolution...

Dinah Shore

Pauly Shore

Jersey Shore

@pixelpiper

My neighbor just got married.

Not saying she's ugly...

but they gave her a bridle shower.

@pixelpiper

My BF wrote his name in the snow.

I dotted his " i " with a period.

@pixelpiper

Marc Anthony and Casey Anthony are dating.

They're affectionately known as LayLo.

@pixelpiper

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