pixelpiper

@pixelpiper

Pixel Piper

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Favs Rec'd 235,601
Awards Rec'd 451
Favstar Lists In 975
Following 831
Followers 4,720
Morally obtuse, she-nerd, iphone app developer with cynical tendencies...always had that pithy non sequitur thing going on.
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@pixelpiper best tweets
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I'm not saying you're fat...

I'm just saying you photograph better in landscape mode.
If Robert Kardashian hadn't gotten OJ off, eventually one of his daughters would have.
Tori Spelling and Kelsey Grammer should get married.

Then she can correct his last name.
Bad news, my Uncle died.

Good news, I got my nose back.

Found it hidden in his sock drawer. Thank God it still smells.
Women don't want to be laid.

They want to be wooed.

Especially if the guy has really hard wooed.
Halter tops...

Perfect for holding two boobs and attracting a third.
White bread

Wheat bread

Corn bread

Inbred...

Popular breads in the South.
Caught my bf cheating.

Made him sleep in the wet spot...

after I stabbed him.
It's been so long since I've shaved my legs, our dogs think we got a new puppy.
I bought some tweets from IKEA...

Trying to put them together is a real bitch.
Ironic how a bug that women find so repulsive contains two words that give them so much pleasure...

cock...roach
I got my dignity back...

This time I'll hold it in place while you nail it.
I've actually seen stores sell pink camouflage clothing.

Pink?

Is this so you can break into Disneyland and hunt Bambi?
If my clitoris was a light switch, my bedroom light would be a strobe.
My neighbor just got married.

Not saying she's ugly...

but they gave her a bridle shower.
My BF wrote his name in the snow.

I dotted his " i " with a period.
Marc Anthony and Casey Anthony are dating.

They're affectionately known as LayLo.