Oh BBC, stop referring to protesters as "anarchists". Anarchists are anti-tax & state, not anti-tax dodgers & pro-state education provision.

Can't stand gossips. They discussed me.

Autumn jokes corner."Can't afford London rent, so I've converted this pumpkin into a bedsit." "Isn't it a bit small?" "Yes, it is a squash."

Thermometer outside says no degrees.*pause* Like the CVs of today's youth post-9 grand tuition fees. *high fives whole queue of tweeters*

Still not sure what to buy the coalition for their anniversary. Do Dignitas do gift vouchers?

Let's just accept this & move on. - RT @danielmaier: Quicky face transplant, invisible pterodactyl, pavement trapdoor. Simple. #Sherlock

Disgusted to see crowds outside News International. Can't these vultures respect their privacy at this difficult time?

If you use hashtag #cpc10 the tweet appears in 'Tories on Twitter' box on Telegraph Tory coverage. I'd hate to think that was open to abuse.

If only people on Twitter would let the others know what it is they're angry about.

Social historians. Can anyone recommend good working class history sources? None of yer earls 'n' gents. Women's history gets bonus points.

Encouraging universal childcare is social engineering. Govt gets 3 lots of tax: ma, pa, carer, instead of 1. We don't benefit; big govt do.

So "I slaughtered my boss today" is fine if you mean you beat her at tennis, but not if you mean you murdered her? Talk about complicated.

Yet more PROPAGANDA from BODY FASCISTS: http://t.co/vOHUGgqD "Women Have Orgasms At The Gym"

Louise Mensch is going to be prime minister in about 15yrs, isn't she? Dear god. *lies on floor sobbing softly*

I've got weather all down my front and my shoes are full of news. Ridiculous.

Yes, Oxford comma. Still no nearer my dream of opening a music venue in Oxford called 'The Comma'.

There's a snow warning for London. If only there was some sort of online facility for Londoners to tell everyone when it starts.

Cameron or Miliband? Coke or Pepsi? I LOVE CHOICE.

I'm bringing tsetse back.

If the BBC says "leafy Ealing" one more time, I shall do precisely nothing but it'll really annoy me.