Getting tagged in a photo on Facebook is much like getting raped in an orifice you didn't know you had.

If you're happy and you know it, for god's sake delete your Twitter account.

Leggings are not pants, e-books are not books and love is not an erection.

I love the way my thighs rub against each other as I move towards the biscuits.

Most people just use words. I like to take words and make them FEEL used.

Twitter — where you always have something better to do, but don't.

An ordinary clown is far sadder than a sad clown.

I know a hopeless case when I fuck one.

Twirling my hair while thinking about getting backdoored. Yes, I know, I'm such a girl.

I'd like to go back to the time when Robert De Niro was more of an actor and less of an institution, because back then I had firmer tits.

Not enough people are recluses.

I've let go of some morals. Wasn't using them anyway.

Assholes who acknowledge that they're assholes by making jokes about it, thinking that makes it okay to be an asshole, are such assholes.

”Sometimes you are just too clever. It makes me want to fuck you stupid.” And that, fellas, is how you write a proper direct message.

I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to fuck her.

I dreamt that Twitter was a dynamic, creative and fluctuational supermind of interconnected brains, and then I woke up crying with laughter.

Nothing says "First World Problem" like crying in a therapist's office for 100 bucks/hour.

Ikea — building a temple of doom one missing screw at a time.

One day I will be pretty good at the whole mercy fuck thing. I have oodles of fuck experience and the idea of mercy is slowly growing on me.

Nowhere is the willing suspension of disbelief as strong as in porn.