samanthajcampen

@samanthajcampen

samantha jo campen

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I hate celery.
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@samanthajcampen best tweets
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samanthajcampen
Theo woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. Then he shouted "MOM! CAN YOU FLUSH FOR ME? I DIDN'T WANT TO WAKE YOU UP!"
@samanthajcampen
samanthajcampen
Guys? This is totally happening. 11/19/12 AIEEEEEE! http://t.co/k6myMgU3
@samanthajcampen
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samanthajcampen
Did @lauriewrites just win at Twitter? I do believe she did.
@samanthajcampen
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samanthajcampen
Do you think Groupon will offer a special After Holiday Colonic or something? Because MAH PANTS MUST HAVE SHRUNK IN THE DRYER.
@samanthajcampen
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samanthajcampen
@jonniker He was RATIONALIZING between them. "Well that one is smaller for snuggles but THIS one plays MUSIC and THAT will help her SLEEP!"
@samanthajcampen in reply to jonniker
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samanthajcampen
You all like coffee. We get it. It's your lover/the only way you'll survive the morning/what's keeping you from killing everyone. Noted.
@samanthajcampen
samanthajcampen
"Wow mom. Lisa must sure like butter because you've been eating a lot of it." *judgy stare*

That is why he's in a time-out until college.
@samanthajcampen
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samanthajcampen
THIS IS THE LONGEST DAY EVER IN THE HISTORY OF EVER.
@samanthajcampen
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samanthajcampen
TRUTH RT @overflowinbrain: Putting raisins in cinnamon rolls is like wearing tights as pants. It's a crime against humanity.
@samanthajcampen
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samanthajcampen
"That was a really long shower Mom. Does this mean you finally shaved your legs?"
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samanthajcampen
"Mom? How the HECK do farmers get milk in those cows?"
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samanthajcampen
I just saw a commercial for that whale movie and BURST out laughing thanks to @jonniker @That_Biz and @shriekhouse. #WHALES4EVA
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samanthajcampen
Look, I'm not one to tell you what to do but making sure there's not a hole in the bag which will contain used cat litter IS ADVISABLE.
@samanthajcampen
samanthajcampen
On a scale from 1-10, my desire to run face first into the cheesy potato casserole is at a 68. Stupid delicious dairy holiday food.
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samanthajcampen
Now is a good time to update your homeowner/renter insurance--make sure it's current w/correct coverage. Check batteries in smoke detector.
@samanthajcampen
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samanthajcampen
"Thanks for my cereal mom! You're like a SERVANT!" Truer words have never been spoken. Fact.
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samanthajcampen
"Mom if you look closely at my tongue, you will see my taste butts."
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samanthajcampen
Two things: 1. A woman at my gate is dressed in ALL Burberry. WE GET IT, LADY. 2. I forgot sunglasses and ear buds. Am sad.
@samanthajcampen