Kinda sickens me reading the #27Club tweets. So romanticized. "Burned so bright, so short". They were junkies. Talented, talented addicts.

"SCORPIOS RULE" is trending. I'm a Scorpio so I endorse this statement, but curious why we're ruling spontaneously in the middle of June.

If I see one more chick in gladiator sandals, I'm going to demand they fight a lion.

Which Rapture is this? Paper? Leather? My mother taught me to always bring an appropriate gift.

I'd like the term "rumpus room" to make a comeback. Also, "up yours" and "floozy".

That poor Duggar woman must have a vagine like a windsock.

I like Christina Aguilera, but she's starting to look like the drag version of herself.

I love you, coffee.

America, I ask for but one thing this holiday: if you're going to buy icicle lights, invest in a staple gun & hang those whores straight.

My dearest #eecms comrades, please lend me your eyeballs: http://t.co/5SfojYOn

I hope all are ok, of course, but as a native Californian, I say with love in my heart, "Suck it up, East Coast."

Ah, Pinterest, where thinspirational quotes rub up against cakes in jars without judgement.

Cottonelle wants us to name our ass-wiping process on Facebook? Social media has become a little too social.

When I see a really good drawing on Draw Something, I don't think, "Hey, nice drawing." I think, "They must have an iPad."

It would be so great, if when we got calls from an unwanted number, we could just press "block" & never have to see it come up again.

Step by step guide for transferring domains away from GoDaddy. // http://t.co/qxOTaSCZ

Just saw a mastiff and a yorkie playing together in the park. I love with little dogs and big dogs are friends!

I've decided pregnancy is the ultimate turducken.

"I'm pouring the fuck out of this milk." http://t.co/PnuO1wWX

Congratulations, America! We're now a country that has to tell its daughters not to put booze in their vaginas. Kudos. http://t.co/NpV3l2Gn