The Daily Mail and Twitter. http://t.co/JSXhVT2I

The coolest picture of Barack Obama you will ever see. http://t.co/gaDFlbFe

That's better. http://t.co/5V6Xpsrs

Remember, if you don't sin, Jesus died for nothing.

Just saw a photographer fall over in the snow. Must have had his White Balance set incorrectly.

My friend Paddy did a very good drawing of Frankie Cocozza. http://t.co/aBJNcw8I

A picture of a pig with balls so big that a poo is having a little rest on them. http://t.co/K5pgHsa3 (via @wotsinyourbag)

Unfortunate omission of comma. http://t.co/z3EOAQFO (via @halsinden)

At school I didn't understand osmosis so was moved down a set. I went from an area of high concentration to an area of low concentration.

Rambo number 5 announced today. Stallone's character is looking for a little bit of Monica in his life, a little bit of Erica by his side.

I think the new iPad should be a quarter of the size, and able to make phone calls.

The Leveson Inquiry has really taken its toll on Rebekah Brooks. http://t.co/cLxnGFWB

Oh, Vince. http://t.co/1sGDCFZG

The Beatles' website has a "Help!" section.

Teach your children about tax at a very young age by destroying 20% of their toys.

What do we want? CHLOROFORM! When do we wa

Tesco Value Jobs. http://t.co/5o7QmNBC

I'm very suspicious of joggers. They're always the ones that find the bodies.

Whenever I accidentally smash a bowl or plate, I bury it in my garden. You know, to fuck with the Time Team.

I left my window open again. http://t.co/B4ttJSVB