I don't tweet enough for you to notice when I'm not here.

Now I can go and say hi to all the people that blocked me, just so they can block me..... Again

People have a bunch of twitter crushes, but that's not me. I only have one twitter crush, and she's more than enough for me.

I like to play tongue twister with you.

I'm all out of tweets, can I borrow some of yours?

When you start thinking that I'm everyone, that's when you know you're addicted to Twitter, or me, whatevs.

My best tweets were deleted by the Y2K bug.

Nobody has ever called me the gangster of love.

"A piece of paper can't tell me that's not my kid"


Yeah, but Maury can.

My Twitter evaluation is coming up.

It really pays to Discover






The clit.

Twitter is confusing.

I'm just a starving typo artist.

I don't have to make sense to tweet, making sense is overrated.

Scientists have study "women's logic" for years and they have come to the conclusion that it is an unsolved mystery.

I know all your secret Twitter accounts.

I was about to post a tweet and then I saw that it was already done.... by me. This is why i need to stop.

Twitter is easy when everyone's sleeping.

I can't believe this is my tenth tweet.

Of Mice and Men is my favorite documentary.