damn, i'm proud of myself. it's >1:30 and i haven't put the tv on yet. that said, what's on?

holy crap the temperature is dropping outside like bodies in 24.

French fries are my kryptonite.

Fuck you, Monday. Just 'cause.

rt @craigyferg "I looked it up in a dictionary. A dictionary? What's that you ask? It's like Google, but papery."

"I Quit playing solitaire cuz I was tired of losing to no one"

I just "analyzed my status updates" on Facebook. Dinner, cake, chicken, cheese, apple, and BACON all made my top words used LOL. I win @ FB.

Is batshit crazy contagious?

"No, really, it's average size..." #toplieswomentell

@tammyphinney Hey, I have never been convicted. At least in NY State.

I can't believe I'm about to admit this in public, but I've actually kind of gained some respect for Miley Cyrus. Kind of.

@FriedaClub tide pen for the Chambord. Dawn dish detergent for the lube. Don't ask me how I know this.

Mental note - being lactose intolerant means I should disregard my stomach when it's craving dairy. #LactoseFail

It's 12:40pm and I've already raked the lawn, pruned the flowering bushes and cleaned out the flower beds. Time for breakfast.

Damn, my dog likes Sourpatch Kids. A lot. I gave him 1 and have never seen him beg for anything like this before.

@beersuds you say you're building your mancave. and remember to grunt a few times.

they're taking bets on how many times i'm gonna hit my head on the chandelier tomorrow. so tired.

have cracked my head on the chandelier in the dining room 5 times (and counting) since i woke up this morning. is this day over yet?

Apparently chance of flurries w/ no accumulation = several inches. Off to work for a couple of hours then back to the hospital to visit mom.

@juicymorsel No, I killed the dinosaurs, not the tweets. That's #ObamasFault.